, old as your omens

[sinthia clark-kaplan]

So, you're mad at me. That's cool. jonny kaplan

[jonny kaplan]

Shit, I really thought this would work on you.

[sinthia clark-kaplan]

Well it doesn't .. too bad!!! You probably shouldn't be so cute. c;

[jonny kaplan]

Please fuck off and die.

[sinthia clark-kaplan]

Babyyy, I know I have a boyfriend but it doesn't mean anything has to change!

[jonny kaplan]

I've been meaning to recycle some of the old "My Deepest Sympathies" cards that're still lying around my apartment - what's his address?

[sinthia clark-kaplan]

Did I ever get you one for your role as the funny, fat friend? I really should have. You gained a lot of weight after our band broke up. ):

[jonny kaplan]

Pro tip: if you're going to try and insult someone, a grain of truth makes the whole thing gel. Pure bullshit doesn't offend anyone, except by its own idiocy. Example: Hey Jonny, you were pretty scrawny before our band went down in flames, you should really be thanking me for making you miserable enough to hit the gym. Bad example: lol ur fat except in reality you've been chronically underweight since the age of nine. But hey, if logic isn't your thing, you could just keep on hitting your face on the keyboard like I assume you do.

[sinthia clark-kaplan]

tl;dr.

[jonny kaplan]

Not to mention that it flags up your own insecurities. By calling someone fat who's literally got a problem keeping weight on, you're forcing me to notice that you've got one of those chubby faces and that's obviously why it's at the forefront of your limited little mind. It's not actual fat Sinthia, stop worrying about it.

[sinthia clark-kaplan]

I think you're being a little bit dramatic ....

[jonny kaplan]

I love it when simple people learn new words and then they can't stop misusing them. Like "literally", and "ironically". Your current favorite is "dramatic", which you seem to mistakenly believe means "you're being smarter than me and it comes naturally to you and I don't get that someone explain that I mean it must come down to drama drama is all there is in life right??????? hlep?? im so alone so so alone why doesnt anyone appreciate my quirkiness TELL ME I'M HOT PLEASE TELL ME I'M HOT". At least, that's all I hear whenever you open your mouth.

[sinthia clark-kaplan]

I mean, all I hear when you open your mouth is the constant, festering whine that you omit. I think it comes out of your nose even when you aren't speaking, too, since you can't stop for a second to think about anything except yourself and your own white boy problems. And sure, maybe my face is a little bit fat, but each time you try to bring me down a notch by insulting my intelligence and my talent, it only calls attention to the fact that all you have are strawman arguments and a failed music career. Oh yea, and your guitar.

[jonny kaplan]

YES, love it when you try! Keep giving it to me baby, your pseudo intellectualism is the best thing about you. Like let's take "straw man arguments". You read that somewhere and now think you're wittily deploying it in an argument... except you contradicted your own accusation. The best example of a straw man argument yet: "JONNY STOP ATTACKING MY TALENT IT'S BECAUSE UR NOT IN MUSIC NOW" when no one's mentioned anything remotely to do with your supposed talent, nevermind created a weak argument around it. Do you get a kick out of representing yourself as a completely delusional retard? Trying to use logical fallacies in a personal argument is like trying to set fire to something with ice, please stop embarrassing my surname. "Strawman arguments", bless.

[sinthia clark-kaplan]

Do I need to link you to your own twitter? Because I think you'll find many attacks on my talent, and I do believe you're still trying to attack my intelligence. Frankly, I feel bad for you. I genuinely, honestly feel bad. Your mom is dead, your future is pretty bleak, and you're pushing away the only person who actually cares about your happiness. You are the saddest person I've ever met, and while you can sit and pretend like this ~tatt00ed boi i d c~ facade you pull is a legitimate exterior, the cracks really do start to show when you throw yourself into your arms of some fucking ex girlfriend on the other side of the ocean.