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Post by sinthia clark-kaplan on Oct 23, 2013 8:17:40 GMT -6
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Post by sinthia clark-kaplan on Oct 23, 2013 19:16:35 GMT -6
 1. No matter how skinny, or fat, or dumb, or smart, or lame or fantastic, people have fetishes and you will be the subject of their obsession. That's the positive (maybe it's a negative) about online dating. Someone is going to love your love handles or your ingrown toenails.
2. It brings out the feminist in you. This is usually because of negative experiences, questions asking if you're 'DTF' or if you'd 'like to make a bit of extra money for school'. People say things that are heinously annoying if you're seriously looking for companionship. There is nothing more satisfying than going off on that 40 year old creep named "Rodney" for constantly berating you with inappropriate comments on your appearance and the shape of your ass. Really, you aren't empowered until you've kicked a man in his internet balls and sent him an irate message about respect.
3. Online dating is the least sexy way to find your significant other. I'm serious. I would literally rather meet my life partner in a war camp.
4. Even if you join it as a joke, there is some sick part of you that wants it to work out. But honestly, you aren't the exception to the rule. Online dating is a place where freaks hang out because they cannot get attention in real life. If you ever thought you were going to find someone normal, back out now, honey.
5. Most of the people that hit on you will not speak English. Really, this is common and often frustrating and although you might think of yourself as an open minded person, you'll come to find that you are a lot less accepting in the face of trying to choose a partner.
6. Education is something you take for granted. Until of course, it comes to people messaging you on the internet. After you receive 'how r u beautiful' for the 26th time, you're going to wish that you could block everyone without a Unviersity level education.
7. Women really should not be branded as desperate. The amount of grovelling and sucking up a man will go to to get you to message back is insane. I have never met such thirsty people in my life than the ones who message me on OKCupid.
8. We really do deserve a lot more respect than we get. Honestly, it's the simple things. Like taking the time to read a profile, (I mean, hello? I spent atleast an hour trying to put that together, have the decency to come up with a message that's slightly personalized), or not simply commenting on appearance. Maybe I like to read? I don't actually, but christ, take the time to find that out.
9. It's possible to never have to approach anyone first ever again. I have literally never had to make the first move on OKCupid.
10. Nobody on the internet will ever appreciate the fact that your favorite movie is 'Good Will Hunting'. You might as well not even bother.
11. We hold the power. Seriously. Men on the internet will do whatever you ask them to do. Now, you can use this to your advantage, but it takes a while to realize just what you can get away with.
12. Fucking with people who send you raunchy messages is really fun. For example, telling that guy who wants to 'eat your ass' that you have IBS is the quickest and easiest way to repulse him. Literally there is nothing funnier.
13. Camo and 'country-boys' will never be sexy. Ever.
14. On the off chance that you do hit it off with someone, you'll probably be friends for the rest of your life. Simply because there is nothing better than trading horror stories about catfishing and the previously mentioned "Rodney's" of the internet.
15. You will begin to appreciate the people you have met organically. Like your friends, your classmates, people who run in the same circles you do because you are interested in the same things, love the same people, etc. You begin to realize the relationships you do have are way better than the forced, generic messages you get from some random stranger because he likes that selfie you took and added as your profile pic.
16. Self-worth isn't defined by the amount of people that 'like' you, nor the amount of people that message you. You can have literally every person online tell you that you are beautiful and you might not believe it. Real life will be so much better when you learn the phrase 'fake it 'til you make it'.
17. You will see the profiles of people you know. And it will freak you out.
18. Most of the guys that try online dating are really short. Discovering how small 6 feet is is really disappointing.
19. Being a woman in love is vastly overrated. Marriage is overrated. People are overrated. Getting coffee and having the same conversation about favorites and families and futures is enough to make someone puke. I literally did once, in the bathroom of a Taco Bell. Who the fuck takes someone to a Taco Bell?
20. We are more attracted to men photographed with children and puppies in their photos than we originally thought. Seriously. I don't even fucking like kids, but 9/10 if a single dad messages me, I'm apt to respond.
21. Women don't like men who try so hard. Sure, message me first, but please remain aloof and do not tell me that you want to be my everything. That just makes me think you can't grow a proper beard and that you have never gotten it in before. Seriously, if you're a virgin and not by choice, lose it before signing up for OKCupid. It will save you a lot of embarrassment and it will do me a lot of favors.
22. Playing the guitar is not impressive.
23. Men like Taylor Swift too, and often not because she's cute and waify. They genuinely connect with her music on some level and that is more than enough reason to turn and run in the other direction.
24. Getting your number changed is not easy. Mass texting is annoying and after multiple times, the phone company will start to charge you because it's totally annoying. Also, your friends will hate you for being a fucking idiot, over and over again.
25. If you ever feel the urge to try online dating, it's because you want a cat. |
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